Hey kids.

Welcome to a particularly foolish weekly. Why foolish? Just got myself excluded (suspended) from school for a week. How did I manage this? Ah, therein lies a tale, my friends. A tale of daring stupidity, of cunning foolishness, of a time when Windows did more than just crash...

But enough of the teasing. What did I do that was so bad? I threw a computer out a first-floor window... Foolish? Undoubtedly. Fun? More than a little bit...

But, no! This weekly is a warning! A warning to any of you who may feel the urge to make a computer fly. Don't do it! Or at least don't do it with a school computer, on school grounds, during school time... That way lies only bad things.

Though, to be fair, they'd never have caught me if it hadn't been for those pesky kids. Eh? Of what do I speak? The Copper Wire incident! But that's another story for another time.

It's another time!

We've been framed, d'ye hear?
    On Monday, I and some of my friends were playing with some copper wire. And one of the more foolish and greasy* of us decided to put the wire into a electrickery socket. And then no-one knows what happened. But at the end of the day, or 4pm to be precise, some caretaker dude noticed a computer left on, went to switch it off, and recoiled in fear from a bunch of copper wire sticking out the socket... pretty dangerous stuff, y'ken?
    But how did it happen?! See, the greasy one is semi-sure he pulled the wire out. And the one who plays with whatsherface alot said he definately did... And the wire was arranged completely differently from the way it was originally... So what's up with that?
    I'll tell you what's up with that. We're being framed! Paranoid delusions? Sure, why not. But truth? That too! Maybe it was a disgruntled caretaker, pissed off with a crummy day, faced with tidying the remnants of our lazy debauchery in an area of school that is supposedly off-limits. Perhaps one of the many enemies we fools who hang out there have acquired, through our flagrant disregard for their notions of all that is good and proper†. Whomsoever it was (assuming Greaseman isn't just going senile in his old-age and he - who - plays - with - whatsherface isn't just covering for him) they're a bastard! Getting me suspended from school for one whole week? Bastard! Now I've got to do smegloads more work, and will have a permanent stain on my school record! Bastards?
    Er... No! That wasn't my original point, was it? I meant to start this out as a warning. And so I shall get a man who doesn't get quite so easily side-tracked as me to speak to you:


"Listen up, kids; Don't Throw School Computers Out Of Windows!"


Even if it is hella far...

Ah, that's me refreshed. So, for the next week I've got to pretend like nothing's happened; leave the house at 7:45am and come home at 4:40pm, like usual. Why so? Well, one of the perks of being 18 does mean that I could ask them not to tell my parents about the affair. And they agreed. Which was nice. Means my parents won't have yet more crap to get all stressed about. My grandmother's death over Christmas has left my mother, and therefore my father, strung tighter than ever. More stress is all they need right now.

Well, other stuff has happened since 52 you know. For starters, I've been offered a place to read Philosophy in London. And all I have to get is 18 points with the old A Levels. Which is like three Cs. Or a B a C and a D. Or a couple Bs and an E. Or even an A and a B and don't even bother with a third A Level. Yes. So, as long as I don't totally screw the pooch, this time in September I shall be living far away from home and having a gay old time. Hoo-hah.

As well as the fine graphic of Mr.T included above, I've been busy with some other pieces of dodgy image editing. Go scroll to the bottom of http://www.megasad.co.uk/weekly/20001211/ and check out that purty new image. No more will people be able to link me with myself... Dodgy Start Trek logic: they're vibrating at a different frequency from me, man... so they're, like, all out-of-phase with reality. Or the universe. Or the space-time continuum. Or some other bollocks.

Well, that's about it for this week. Getting suspended did have at least one plus side; it gave me something to write about. Next week? Well, this weekend I found a little story that I wrote about four years ago. Five parts to it and it's pretty good, even after all this time. So Part 1 will be winging its way to you this Saturday coming.

Later.



* All names have been removed so as to protect the innocent. Or the guilty. Whatever.

† One particular incident comes to mind, from last Friday when it snowed lots:
    "I was on my way to afternoon registration when some punks hit me in the back with a couple snowballs. I calmly turned 'round, looked at them, and then ran screaming at one of them, leaping upon him and batting at him with my hands. It scared him. Which was the point of it all. So now they'll either (i) be too scared of me / respect me too much to ever throw snow at me again. Or (ii) pelt with me as much snow as possible next time they see me, just 'cos they're bastards. Still, with the screaming..."
    And that was written on Saturday. I called them bastards... could they be the ones behind this whole fiasco? Well, speculation serves no-one today, but still... it's something to wonder over.