Hoo-hah, kids!

I am returned from the abyss, and I've brought some friends with me...

We were having a talk, just a couple minutes ago, and it went a little something like this:

~

MCCOY - It's an earth ruled by super-intelligent cocoa beans, Jim! Hurry! We've got to stop them before they start to breed with our women! Can you imagine it? Half-human, half-cocoa hybrids? It'll be awful!
KIRK - Yes. You're. Right. Mc Coy. Set. A. Course. Mr. Sulu. For. London.
SULU - Yes sir.
KIRK - 1. 9. 9. 9.
SULU - Oh-kaaay... That's in the past, captain.
KIRK - I. Know. Mr. Sulu. Make. It. So.
SCOTTY - The parody's gettin' all con-fuused, captain! You're spouting that bald twat's lines!
KIRK - What. Sooty?
SOOTY - She cannae take any more!
KIRK - You're. An. Orange. Bear?
SOOTY - Aye, that I am, captain.
SPOCK - That is highly illogical, captain.
KIRK - I. Know. Spock.
SPOCK - But I'm afraid I must stop you in your plans to stop the cocoa beans.
KIRK - Why. Is. That. Spock?
SPOCK - Well captain, I'm really a half-Vulcan, quarter-human, quarter-cocoa hybrid. I need the cocoa beans to go back in time and interbreed with the human race. If they don't, I'll never be born.
KIRK - But. Surely. That's. A. Paradox. Spock?
SPOCK - Yup.
KIRK - Well. Okay. Spock. My. Friends. Are. Far. More. Important. Than. The. Human. Race. Fancy. Shagging. Some. Female. Aliens?
SPOCK - No thank you, captain.
KIRK - Well. That's. Good. Because. It's. Your. Sister.
SPOCK - What? You sicko! Forget this self-control! You gonna die, sucka!
KIRK - Mr. T?
MR.T - You betta believe it, foo'! I was jus' pretending to be that Spock sucka so I could stop you foolin' with his sista! Get ready to be thrown hella far!
KIRK - Oh. No! Aargh! ! ! ! !
MR.T - That's right, sucka. And kids, don't forget; Drink Milk ^_^

-This parody was brought to you by the letter T and the number 1999. And remember Mr.T's advice, kids; Be Somebody, Or Be Somebody's Fool!
-All this jibba jabba be Copyright that Caleb Newcastle foo'. Go visit his website at www.megasad.co.uk, now!

~

Hope you all enjoyed that, y'ken? Looking back at those last few weeklies I noticed there was a distinct lack of fun about the beasts. So I had some fun.

Speaking of past weeklies... You wanna read all those past ones, right from the beginning? Maybe you got on board a little late in the game? Well, check out www.megasad.co.uk/weekly! You got the first 47 weeklies I ever did write, all neatly archived and sorted, for your reading pleasure! You don' best go enjoy them now, y'hear?

And you wanna see some Mr.T action, brand new to the web? Well, go have a look at www.megasad.co.uk/artwork! There be a piece of art starring the man himself!

Hoom.

I've kept a diary over the last couple weeks! It's a dangerous wee beastie. And I won't be broadcastin' it to the world! Hot-damn!

And next year! I gon' do well in those pesky A Levels, and get into university in London, and I get to live with Jenny and co.! Which is rather a good thing. No stinky family! Living with friends! Hoo-hah!

Attached is a picture of me and my family. Clockwise from centre; myself, mother, sister, sister, brother, sister, father. Just so as you know to avoid them should you ever come across them in the street. And, so as those few of you who requested it can have an up-to-date photo of me, with glasses. Though I've since shaved off the facial hair... Ach, find that old photo of me on my comic library for the face, and this for the glasses and hair. Snoogans.

Throw Momma From The Train was on last Saturday. Anyone see it? A rather good film. And stinky Janeway from Voyager nearly died! Yay! Anyway, Billy Crystal looks better without a beard, and Danny Devito is even shorter than I thought. You missed it? Fool!

This Saturday? Beetlejuice! Watch it for fine performances from Kevin Keaton and Winona Ryder. And the sandworm dudes. Those some muy funky creatures...

It's nearly 10pm! So I must send this beast.

Tally-ho!

-Caleb