You know that thing with the digital clock? The one by your bed, that glows green or red or blue? The one that's an alarm clock and usually a radio and sometimes a phone as well? Well, you know the thing where you hold down the Alarm and Sleep buttons and the hours become minutes and the minutes become seconds? Where, if you're lucky, the hours and the minutes match, and so holding down Alarm and Sleep makes it seem as if time has speeded up? And then you wait until just the right moment, such as 6:16am, and you let go of the buttons at exactly 6:16am and 16 seconds? Or, even better, 2:22am and 22 seconds? And time slows back down? Do you know what I mean? Well, good. Just to let you know that I do it too. And that you poor, deprived people out there, who've never experienced the joys of a digital clock, should go get one now, and play with if for a few hours.

I woke up at 4pm yesterday (Sunday) afternoon, and haven't slept since. So it feels like it's 3am, but it's only really 1pm. And it's light outside, and I just ate lunch... things are out of synchronisation.

A Levels aren't important. I've gibbered about that in the past. And in the grand scheme of things it still holds true. But... If I want to go to university next year, I have to do well. Smeg, I have to get an A and two Bs! That's something I can't just get by coasting... Yet I'm still not putting the work in. Goddamn I'm lazy. If I could? I'd sleep forever, only waking up to eat and wash. Like, once every two or three days. I did that this Christmas holidays; sleep for fifteen hours or so, wake up, eat, wash, watch a film, play on the Internet, go back to sleep. And I had days where all I did was dream. Wake up, sleep, dream, wake up, sleep, dream... and so on. And I want to do it now.

-PARAGRAPH DELETED. TO BE PUT BACK IN; NEVER.-

I've sucked so many goats (metaphorically) in my time that it's a wonder I still have any lips or gums left...

I am so much a geek. In the bad way. Not in the appearance way. In that I'm just slightly eccentric. With the hair and the coat... No, I'm a geek in my attitude towards people. See, I didn't used to think cliques existed. I'd never seen any evidence for them in reality, only in films and on television etc. So, a few weeks ago, when I was sitting in the library, it was quite a shock to find myself listening to some guys, jocks as it were, discussing life, the universe and everything. Or, their interpretations of them... Girls were objects to be discussed purely in terms of physical merits (or otherwise), cars (and the sound-systems within) were what all that hard-earned money was for, football the greatest thing ever... well, you get the idea. And it occurred to me; I've never questioned my attitudes. To women, cars, football, life the universe et al. I've assumed that the way I feel about these subjects is... well, I've not assumed anything. That's the point. But, see, this talking got me thinking. What if I've been going about this whole thing all wrong? What if women are just sex objects? What if cars and football are the be-all and end-all of culture? Hell, they seemed much happier with their lot than I with mine...

Well... yes, I'm going to sleep now. If I don't wake up in time for registration and English? So be it.


A few days later:

Went to my mum's mum's funeral on Friday. A more fun affair than my mum's dad's. I never really knew either of them... and now they're gone I never will. Ditto with my dad's mum and dad. Which hardly matters that much. But still... Whatever.

Something pointless / dull / pathetic:

SUNDAY - Wake up 4pm, stay awake.
MONDAY - Still awake, sleep 8:50pm.
TUESDAY - Wake at 3am, stay awake.
WEDNESDAY - Sleep at 6:50am, wake at 5:50pm (miss school).
THURSDAY - Still awake, stay awake (sleep for 20 minutes during Maths mock).
FRIDAY - Sleep at 6:30am, wake at 11am.
SATURDAY - Sleep at 7am, wake at 5pm.
SUNDAY - Still awake.

As you can see, my sleeping has got slightly irregular. I got about half the sleep I should have (aprx. 32 hours instead of 63) and I feel a bit rank. But also like my body's humming. And my back's bleeding. And now I smell pancakes and want to go make some so that I can eat them as well.

Tintin by Hergé. You remember him? That must have been the first comic I ever read... that and Asterix. They had near-complete collections of both in my local library when I was in middle-school. I remember having read all of the Tintin books (except the posthumously published 24th book). And they were GOOD. So I'm going to revisit that good ol' Children's section of the library tomorrow, after school. I haven't been in there in about six / seven years, so the whole place is gonna be totally shrunken... Damn I hate when that happens. When huge massive spaces get shrunken...

I got two Bs for my last two English modules (which is nice) and 77% for my last Maths module exam. So I'm coasting pretty well. Here's hoping it continues.

I've polished off my current windows theme into a true piece of art. Download it (www.megasad2.freeserve.co.uk/zips/tintin.zip), install it, and respect my authority. The colours, fonts, spacings, icons, cursors... It's just so goddamned WONDERFUL...

I'm off to make pancakes...

-4oz plain flour
-a pinch of salt
-make a small well in the middle of the flour
-crack an egg into the middle
-measure out 150ml of milk and 150ml of water
-mix it all up into one big batter
-heat your frying pan with vegetable oil
-pour some of the mixture on to the base of the frying pan - enough to cover it but not too much
-wait a bit, lift it up slightly with a spatula - see if it's cooked, and if so turn over
-repeat until all the goo is used up and the pancakes are cooked


Later on:

And so I got as far as the batter-making (nice and smooth), I go to find some oil... and we don't have any. Feck. So the goo's waiting in a jug in the fridge, waiting for someone to get off their arse and go do some shopping... hopefully I'll get to eat meself some pancakes by the end of the week. Incidentally, thanks to Jenny for the recipe.

Cheers to Ian for recommending I listen to Wonderful by Everclear. It's a good song. Only problem? Those fecking Napster bods; the download stopped after it was about 96% complete. So I'm missing the last twenty seconds or so... Hey, Ian, you couldn't lend me those albums, could ye ^_^?

Detachable Penis by King Missile? Still to be acquired. Napster was being all SLOW this weekend. I mean, TWO+ hours to get a four and a half minute song? There's something very wrong going on there.

Attached you will find a screenshot of what my current theme looks like; colours, fonts, spacings, icons, etc. It doesn't convey how good all the various sound effects are, the wallpaper is one you download separate from the theme, from my comic library... And if you want to experience it in all its glory, all you have to do is right-click this link, select Save Target As..., and wait a few minutes. And let me know what you think of it, dagnammit! Fecking heathens, not doing what I tell you to...

Right. I'm off to have a bath. Have fun.