Howdy y'all.

I'm typing this in the day time, to send in the night time, and gosh darnit if I don't feel way more hokey because of it.

The freaks webshite has been updated mightily. Pages have been written for Gareth Preston, Michael and Alice Biggins. And a new mega-form has been made. If you haven't already filled it in then please download a new version from the join up page. For those of you who have already sent in your mega-form, the only real change of any consequence is that some people have been added to the list of freaks. These are:
- Alice Biggins
- Helen Davis
- Liz Gardner
- Tom Baines
Please tell me whether you think these people are:
yup = in the group
ish = i know who they are, and i'm not sure if they are in the group or not. they could be.
who = who are they? (or i don't know them)
nope = i know them but they aren't in the group.
Thanks.

Now I really hate forwards. Which is why I never send them on. But this one from Melsy is just so goddarned kewl I had to send it on, even though some of you have it already. Of course, being the kind soul that I am, I got rid of all that forwarding crap at the top of the e-mail and also all that junk about angels and so on. I think it works better just by itself. So here it is:

~

Right Now -
-somebody is very proud of you.
-somebody is thinking of you.
-somebody is caring about you.
-somebody misses you.
-somebody wants to talk to you.
-somebody wants to be with you.
-somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
-somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
-somebody wants to hold your hand.
-somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
-somebody wants you to be happy.
-somebody wants you to find him/her.
-somebody is celebrating your successes.
-somebody wants to give you a gift.
-somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
-somebody hopes you're not too cold, or too hot.
-somebody wants to hug you.
-somebody loves you.
-somebody admires your strength.
-somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
-somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
-somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.
-somebody thinks the world of you.
-somebody wants to protect you.
-somebody would do anything for you.
-somebody wants to be forgiven.
-somebody is grateful for your forgiveness.
-somebody wants to laugh with you.
-somebody remembers you and wishes that you were there.
-somebody is praising God for you.
-somebody needs to know that your love is unconditional.
-somebody values your advice.
-somebody wants to tell you how much they care.
-somebody wants to share their dreams with you.
-somebody wants to hold you in their arms.
-somebody wants YOU to hold them in your arms.
-somebody treasures your spirit.
-somebody wishes they could STOP time because of you.
-somebody praises God for your friendship and love.
-somebody can't wait to see you.
-somebody loves you for who you are.
-somebody loves the way you make them feel.
-somebody wants to be with you.
-somebody wants you to know they are there for you.
-somebody is glad that you're his/her friend.
-somebody wants to be your friend.
-somebody stayed up all night thinking about you.
-somebody is alive because of you.
-somebody is wishing that you noticed him/her.
-somebody wants to get to know you better.
-somebody wants to be near you.
-somebody misses your advice/guidance.
-somebody has faith in you.
-somebody trusts you.
-somebody needs you to send them this letter.
-somebody needs your support.
-somebody needs you to have faith in them.
-somebody will cry when they read this.
-somebody needs you to let them be your friend.
-somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.

~

Of course this kind of thing leads to the inevitable (and repeated) question of, "Who, goddamnit?! Who?!!!"
But if you knew the answer(s) to that it wouldn't be anywhere near as annoying. Natch.

I'm feeling so good I think I'll write the continuation of that story I started a little while ago...


Caleb and the Pixie Slaying Jelly Babies - Part 2
A Mega Sad Digression by Caleb Newcastle

Now, for more details on all that shit that happened a few hundred years later.

The Wankers, having left Camelot, roamed the three earths in search of a new place to call home. But wherever they went they were fought off by the locals, who were terrified of their ginger(ish) hair and bunny-rabbit teeth.
    After a few hundred years the Wankers got really pissed off with this. So they renamed themselves the Army of the True Pixies and went on a terrifying rampage of destruction, destroying anything they came across and then eating the remains. The Army killed off all the true pixies until they were the only ones left. They and the humans, who they kept around for fun and food.
    The Pixies were unrivalled for fifty years until, one day, a champion rose from the burning remains of their latest conquest. His hair was greasy and unkempt. His face unshaven, yet neither properly bearded or moustachioed. His robes were those of a black towelling dressing gown. He resembled Harry from 3rd Rock From The Sun. And his expression was grim.
    "How dare you Pixie scum interrupt me?! I'd finally managed to track down the Director's Cut of Leon, and it was just getting to the new scenes... and then you go and nuke my castle!!!" Screamed Caleb in a really loud voice at no-one in particular. "I vow, upon the molten remains of my VCR, to track down and kill every last Pixie in existence!!!!!"

To be continued...


Wo ho ho! The story has finally gotten underway! And aren't you just gagging for the next instalment? Aren't you? Whatever. You'll get it whether you like it or not. Bwa ha ha ha ha haaaaa!!!

Speaking of gagging, it's on to dreams! Can you dig the kewlness of the things I'm about to say? 'Course you can! Y'see, for the last month or so I've had sod-all dreams and it's been muy yucky. But over the last few nights ('kay, afternoons actually) I've had some way screwed up ones. And some of yous were in there / here! Huzzah! Anyway, so far the people who have starred (or maybe just appeared as bit-characters) in my dreams are:
Ian, Ali, Michelle, Melsy and Rachel. Ian was sitting down in the cafeteria and talking to some people about severed heads (the relevance of which will become apparent). Ali did sod-all and, since I've never seen her before, how I actually know the person I saw was her is open to debate. Thinking about it, if it was her, she's like five years older than she should be... ah well. Um... Michelle was the most screwed up. She was just this severed head which I was carrying around like a mouse, but she wasn't dead or anything, so that's hokey. Melsy was in this one where the picnic area in school was, for some reason, a huge podium thang and there were all these people on it talking and stuff. There was someone standing behind me and I didn't know who it was, so I turned round and it was she. And finally, Rachel was in this group of people who I showed Michelle's severed head to.
This probably is some sign of severe emotional problems. Or just an overactive imagination. Whatever. There were other people as well, but I don't remember faces so I can't be more definite on anyone else. Don't worry if you haven't been in there so far though, 'cos I'm getting this dreaming thang back to often again, so you should be in there eventually.

So, anyway, we're back at school in a few days. Won't that be fun. Damn, I could live my whole life in a holiday. It would just rock so much...

And, like, please go check out my new company page. The thing's been utter shite for nearly a year, but now I've made it way kewl. It be called Mega Sad Productions and feedback would be muy appreciated.

That's about it for this week. See you all* when we go back to lovely (shudder) school.

Surprisingly-Cheerful,
Caleb Newcastle (kewl new look damnit!)

* Except Ali of course

PS - Damn! I just remembered that my computer has finally (after months of threats) been taken out of my room and put downstairs. This sucks very much so, for my computer is my best means of expressing myself to the world. Ah well. I should be getting DLA soon. About £13 a week. If I save it up for two years I should have enough for a kewl new computer of my very own. Though I'll probably just spend it all on comics...

PPS - Check out the downloads page at Caleb Newcastle's Sad and Obsessive Comic Library for that kewl Alien Song thang that Melsy said she had. It's a little smaller 'cos it's a ZIP file.

PPPS - Wo ho ho! We're not all dead! Natch and so on.