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18: Texas And The Spaceman

Okay, Jesse's sitting in an airport waiting for a flight, pulls out his Daddy's lighter and the guy next to him has the same lighter. This guy, Spaceman decides to tell Jesse a story about the two of them in Vietnam. Texas (Jesse's dad) and Spaceman are on parade when John Wayne appears and gives them the lighters. There's also this guy, Gonny, who uses the lighter to explode his own farts with a shout of 'fire in the hole!', anyway, we're saved from this display of vulgarity by an attack from the VC, and the three of them get a job laying sandbags and Texas hits the lance corporal for bad-mouthing John Wayne. Seems pointless? Well, cue agro from the corp. They go out on a mission, and the corp sends Spaceman, Texas and Gonny to clear a VC village, and an old lady appears and blows herself and Gonny to tiny little pieces (which go all over Texas and Spaceman in a nice little shot). So when they get back to base they drop the corp into a latrine barrel and roll it down to a VC base, where they promptly blow it to bits. Anyway, Jesse has to go for his flight, and it gets a bit odd. See, Spaceman tells Jesse to keep his picture of the three of them. Ennis lost the plot a bit - Jesse tells Spaceman his Daddy died in 1974, but Spaceman says all Jesse has is a 4-year olds memories of his Dad. How did he know that? Jesse was born after they got back, so how would Spaceman know when Jesse was born or how old he was when his Daddy died? Hey ho...

Comments by Cassandra Courtney

19: Of Things To Come

Okay, starts with an F-14 pilot being told to shoot down a UFO, which turns out to be a burning persony thing. Anyway, they miss, and the President of the USA has to phone up Starr. Back to Jesse in France, who steals a nice little Porsche and him and Tulip head off, somewhere. Starr is looking for loyal troops who don't speak English and is on his way to see the autopsy of 'the creature'. Just to make sure nobody knows what is going on, its over to De Blanc and Fiore who are busy sniffing coke when the Saint bursts in and demands to know where Custer is. Faced with the Saint of Killers, they tell him. On to the autopsy and Starr, and 'the creature' turns out to be Cassidy, minus an arm. The doctor decides to take off his glasses, having determined that he's dead, but Cassidy rips off his arm and snacks out on him. Starr solves the problem by throwing in a grenade, and realising that the can't kill Cassidy, so he calls for someone who can torture him. Jesse and Tulip stop at a hotel for a fancy meal and talk about the good old days. Suddenly, a little red spot appears on Jesse's hand - one hell of a sudden skin complaint. Anyhow, this one is definitely setting the scene for more of the ongoing story, so it's a wee bit confusing, but like all them other times, you know its going to be relevant, you just have to wait for things to make sense.

Comments by Cassandra Courtney

20: Too Much Gun

Tulip isn't as thick as Jesse - she realises that the sudden splodge on his hand is an I-R sight, and pushes him out of the way of the sniper's sights, and the waiter gets hit instead. Jesse tries to use the Word on the commandos outside, but this is where Starr's need for non-English speakers comes in useful, because they just carry right on. Jesse makes a run for the car, while Tulip shoots a few of them and he beats the crap out of a few more. They make a quick escape, but Tulip's more pissed off that she had to leave her sexy new underwear behind. Meanwhile, Starr learns of the failure of the mission and the arrival of his torturing friend called Frankie, a mobster needing to work off some tension on account of the fact he just had his dick cut off by a gang of Russians. Jesse isn't happy about putting Tulip in danger, and she basically tells him to sod off. Back in Masada, Cassidy wakes up, and his arm is starting to grow back (well, the bones are there anyhow). He gets up, and there's Frankie on a ledge above him with a bolt-action rifle. He asks Cassidy what it is, (Cassidy does suggest that it's 'the main sprocket off a ten-gear wankin' machine', but that's not it) and then gives a short demonstration by shooting Cassidy up a bit, and leaving him there to grow back. Jesse and John Wayne have a long conversation about women, and it seems Jesse is planning to ditch Tulip so he can go to Masada by himself. As if to convince him, Tulip sneaks up and drenches him in water for no apparent reason. Why? Who knows? Who cares? I've lost the plot.

Comments by Cassandra Courtney

21: Stormbringer

Charming little Fabry cover for this one - fat guy covered in Puke and dressed like the Pope. Hey ho. Over at 40N, 30W, the Saint has killed of the crew of a cargo ship, and seems to be looking suitably evil - hats off to Dillon here. In Masada, d'Aronique arrives, so fat he has to be carried. d'Aronique is the head of the Grail, and has returned to the headquarters and has brought 'the child'. Jesse and Tulip are still heading through France, and Jesse explains he has to rescue Cassidy because of his 'rescue' that time with the Saint, and Tulip agrees because Cassidy saved her from Starr. Cassidy meanwhile is playing dead, having been shot up even more (even his newly grown arm bones got shot off, which I thought was a bit sad), but Frankie shoots him in the dangly bits, and it would appear he isn't dead at all. Starr and Marseilles are watching 'the Child', which is the last psion, the last of the bloodline of Christ, pissing in the flower beds. Marseilles realises that Starr's conspiracy is the only sane response to the new messiah, but the two of them have to face a grilling from the Allfather, who is getting more and more disgusting, and is already suspicious of Starr's actions. Back to Tulip and Jesse, and Jesse has carried out his plan and abandoned Tulip at a hotel, and she is justifiably upset. Cassidy, now able to stick his foot up his arse and fuck himself with his toes on account of his leg being shot off, warns Frankie that a man will be coming for him, but Jesse is having a few problems with directions seeing as how he doesn't speak French and just tries screaming at barmen instead. Oh yeah, that's gonna work.

Comments by Cassandra Courtney

22: Iron In The Blood

Jesse arrives at Masada and walks right in to see the Allfather. I think something happened before that, but some bastard nicked the pages from the library book, so your guess is as good as mine. Jesse demands they release Cassidy and threatens the Allfather, but Starr has spoken to the Seraph in the cells and tells Jesse that they can put Cassidy outside in the sunlight. Jesse's a bit defeated, until d'Aronique tells him about the death of his aunt Marie - Jesse's lovely little grandma for which he should die. The Allfather then goes on to criticise Jesse's father, but Jesse tells him that the 'the only thing ran in his veins was iron'. d'Aronique seems satisfied, and informs Starr that he knows all about his little conspiracy thing. Neither of them has much of a choice, but they fight it out, eventually bursting out from the room. Starr leads Jesse down to the Seraph, but they are interrupted as the sound of shooting starts, and cue the Saint of Killers. This one is quite good - get to see Jesse as the tough guy a lot, and more than a couple of laughs at that fat fuck of a relation, d'Aronique. Still, best character in this one has to be the Saint - Ennis isn't trying anymore, and if it wasn't for the fact that Steve Dillon's been drawing the Saint that way he does, the guy would be Clint Eastwood - Even the lines are starting to sound familiar.

Comments by Cassandra Courtney

23: Revelations

This is a kick in the teeth from the start - the Saint is telling Jesse he's going to kill him, but the Seraph is awake and tells Starr that he can't allow that to happen and how to stop it. Meanwhile, d'Aronique sends men to kill the Saint and capture Jesse alive, but downstairs Starr tells the Saint not to shoot because Jesse knows the truth behind what happened to the Saint's family. The Seraph tells Jesse that Genesis knows and all he has to do is remember. The Saint offers Jesse his life if he can tell the truth about what happened to his family, and goes out to fight the troops of the Grail so as to protect Jesse and Genesis. The Seraph starts to tell Jesse about his fling with the demon, getting a bit carried away with crap like 'our juices fell like rain on the inferno', but eventually tells of how Genesis was born and he was cast down - so he was the UFO that the F-14s couldn't shoot down. Meanwhile, the troops of the Grail are being gradually massacred, and Marseilles takes advantage of the situation to kidnap the new messiah. The Seraph, however, learns that God has quit heaven, and instantly goes into a fit of panic as he realises that God will come looking for him. I liked this one a lot, especially since they started to make the Saint of Killers into a good guy (well, apart from all the killing, but there you go). Things are starting to heat up, and for one brief moment it looks like we're gonna find out what the hell is going on with God. So, straight on to number 24, not even a break for a coffee.

Comments by Cassandra Courtney

24: And Justice For All

Straight off, there's Cassidy, well, what's left of him, lying on the floor, while someone's calling out 'Wake, Beast. And know me.' So he wakes up, looks, and mutters 'Oh Fuck. It's God.' So God finally makes an appearance, if only to give Cassidy a warning for Jesse and to 'name him Beast' a lot. Fine. Back upstairs, the Grail soldiers are still being slaughtered, and Marseilles is still making his escape bid. Starr tries to get Jesse to leave before the fortress blows up, but Jesse is still hell-bent on finding Cassidy, and cuts a big line down Starr's head till he tells him. He's just about to leave when he sees the sex aid Starr has in his luggage, and while Jesse's distracted he makes his escape. Back to the 'loving God' and he's just turned the Seraph into a crispy critter, and named him betrayer. Aha! So that's God's job, he just goes around giving things names. Okay. d'Aronique makes his escape on a helo, unaware that Starr has hi-jacked it, and told the pilot to rise and bank sharply, so as soon as they're 50m up, the helo banks, and out flies d'Aronique, who promptly squashes Marseilles and the child. Jesse finally makes his way down to where Frankie and Cassidy are, nice bit this. Frankie turns round with his rifle and says 'first word outta your mouth I swear to fuckin' God you're dead before the second'. Just one word? Simple: Miss. Jesse knocks him into the pit below, and he lands breaking his neck, but he's still alive in time to see Cassidy appear, with that shit-eating grin and his eyes on his throat. Nice. Jesse hauls Cassidy out of that there pit, and half carries him out of Masada, which promptly blows up, burying the Saint down there. As they head out, there's my favourite line from Preacher as Cassidy gives Jesse God's message:

"Yeh know, havin' met the good Lord face to face, I think I can honestly say he's a bit of a prick..."

Oh yeah, now that I like! Well, this one here raps up another instalment of that vague ongoing plot. I have to admit, I don't really like the building up that goes on, because to start with you really don't know what's going on, but Christ is it worth it for the endings. Plenty of blood, a high body count, and a strangely happy ending, for some of them at least. Who could ask for more?

Comments by Cassandra Courtney

25: Cry Blood, Cry Erin

This is basically the story of how Cassidy became a vampire, the idea being that he tells Jesse all about it after Jesse saves him from the Grail. It starts off outside of the Dublin Post Office in 1916, the Easter Uprising. Young Proinsius Cassidy and his brother Billy are fighting the British, but his brother doesn't share his patriotic feelings and decides they should get out while they still can. The leave the building they were holed up in and wander past a historical inaccuracy as they pass Michael Collins (who was in the Post Office, but never mind) and Billy kicks him in the balls. I get the horrible impression that Ennis had a few hang ups about history as a child. Anyway, the brothers make it out of Dublin, but as they're walking that night, a kind of greenish thing leaps out of the bog and snacks out on young Proinsius. He wakes up that morning and promptly catches on fire. Doesn't have a good start to being a vampire, especially since he gets mistaken for a sheep-shagger and shot. Finally, he makes it back to civilisation, but realises he can't stay in Ireland since everyone thinks he's dead, and heads off to America. Nice comic as far as explaining things go, with lots of dark and grim artwork. Can't quite work out why Cassidy seems to have aged as a vampire, or why he had to have the name Proinsius, apart from the obvious silliness factor.

Comments by Cassandra Courtney

26: To The Streets Of Manhattan I Wandered Away

This is Cassidy's story of his arrival in America - he steps off the boat and someone nicks his luggage, nice that, a really good start. Anyway, he heads over to a bar in search of work, and a decent barman gives him a free drink. In the corner there's a giant of a fella arm-wrestling for bets. Cassidy all skinny and pale beats him, ditches his silly first name and teams up with the arm-wrestling guy, who he spends the next twenty years or so hanging out with in the bar. Great lines though, as he's telling the story to Jesse:

Cassidy: How old would yeh say I look?

Jesse: About twenty-five goin' on ninety.

Cassidy: Yeh should see me naked.

Jesse: No I fucking shouldn't.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, by WW2 Cassidy has worked out what he is, on account of his friend Mick giving him Dracula to read, and realises he has to leave before the others notice he isn't getting old. Cassidy then tells about how he used to wander around with Dylan Thomas, and was with him when he died (plus a nice little bit of Welsh-bashing), and drank with Brendan Behan, until one day in the 1970s he comes across his friend Mick in their old haunt. They spent some time catching on old times, and Mick seems to have worked out what Cassidy is, and leaves never to be seen again. What's the point? Well, absolutely useless to anything, but on a plus note, it does leave you feeling kinda satisfied that Preacher can go in for happy endings. Having finished the story of his life, Cassidy tells Jesse that he's gonna stick by him until things with God are sorted out, on account of Jesse rescuing him from the Grail despite all their soldiers and that sort of thing. No, still no idea why we had to go through all that. If I was writing this then I'd have got Cassidy to say he was going to stay with Jesse in about 5 lines, but the thing about Ennis is, he takes up a hell of a lot of plot to say something simple, and you don't care, cos the writing just sweeps you along.

Comments by Cassandra Courtney