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Back in September 2004 I dug out my old Transformers toys that I got for my seventh birthday and wrote a review for a website that likes them far too much; The Transformers Archive.

Anyway, they didn’t use the high-resolution photographs I sent them, nor the ones of Snapdragon’s good friend, Apeface. So, here is the review, plus big photos:

Name: Snapdragon
Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Interceptor
Sub-Group: Headmaster Horrorcon
Nebulan Component: Krunk
Quote: “If it doesn’t get you dirty, it’s not worth doing.”

I got this Transformer shortly after receiving Apeface on my seventh birthday. They suit each other well, both having a whole bunch of purple on them. For a while, I lost the head; some friends of my family, one of their sons took it. But I reclaimed it a few years later when I went round their house. Anyway, on to the different modes and such.

Vehicle Mode:

A grey fighter plane, the turquoise vertical fins lean either away from, or towards, the centre of the plane, depending on your preference; I always made them point out. The golden windows painted on the cockpit always struck me as superfluous; the actual cockpit, which the little robot/head guy sat in, is actual transparent plastic, so who were the golden, presumably-one-way-glass windows for? Teeny tiny ant men? Or maybe they’re meant to be like a Killer Whale’s eyes? But why would you want your enemies to aim for the nose of your plane? Anyway, the two guns that can be held in robot mode can be mounted on the sides for shooting whilst flying. As an added bonus, the dinosaur neck can be used as a rocket booster of sorts…

(more…)

I wanted to see if I could complete Resident Evil 4 hurting no-one at all.

Right at the beginning I realised this would be impossible, seeing as how the axe guy needs killing before you can even get into the rustic village. So I set out to hurt as few people as possible, only causing pain when absolutely necessary for the advancement of the plot. What follows is a breakdown of said necessary hurting:

      1 - Leon killed 1 Man-With-Axe
      2 - Leon killed 1 Crocodile
      3 - Leon killed 1 Ogre
  4- 43 - Luis killed 40 villagers in cabin
 44- 45 - Leon killed 2 Ski-Lift-Jumpers
 46- 48 - Van killed 3 villagers
     49 - Leon killed 1 Van-Driver

     50 - Leon killed 1 Catapult-Operating-Monk who shoots at bridge leading to cannon
     51 - Leon killed 1 Wolverine
 52- 91 - Leon killed 40 monks in long hall, including sniping-to-protect-Ashley at end
     92 - Leon killed 1 Red-Machine-Gun-Monk for key
 93- 94 - Rocket-Launcher-Monks killed 2 regular monks
 95-101 - Leon killed 7 monks attacking recently un-shackled Ashley
    102 - Ashley killed 1 monk who would stop her opening the second gate
    103 - Leon killed 1 Fire-Breathing-Dragon-Statue-Monk
104-105 - Leon killed 2 Ashley-Screwing-Monks
106-113 - Leon killed 8 Haunted-Knights
114-115 - Leon killed 2 Shielded-Monks in front of the King and Queen
    116 - Catapult-Operating-Monk killed 1 Clock-Tower-Guarding-Monk
117-118 - Leon killed 2 Wolverines
    119 - Leon killed 1 Right-Hand-Man
120-121 - Leon killed 2 Lava-Ogres
122-123 - Spiky-Ceiling-Bugs killed 2 themselves by walking into light(?)
124-127 - Minecar killed 4 villagers when they jumped in front of it
128-129 - Leon killed 2 Chainsaw-Wielding-Psychopaths on Minecar
130-147 - Leon killed 18 villagers on Minecar
148-149 - Minecar killed 2 villagers when it plummeted down a bottomless pit with them on board
    150 - Leon killed 1 Salazar Statue
    151 - Leon killed 1 Dynamite-Throwing-Monk around lift
152-153 - Leon killed 2 Arrow-Shooting-Monks around lift
154-168 - Leon killed 15 Red-Monks on lift
    169 - Leon killed 1 Salazar

    170 - Leon killed 1 Machine-Gun-Carrying-Beefy-Soldier at beginning of island
171-172 - Leon killed 2 Dynamite-Throwing-Door-Blocking-Soldiers
173-175 - Leon killed 3 Arrow-Shooting-Door-Blocking-Soldiers
    176 - Leon killed 1 Regenerator for Ashley Key-Card
    177 - Leon killed 1 Regenerator guarding door to Wrecking-Ball
178-179 - Leon killed 2 Regenerators following Wrecking-Ball
180-185 - Van killed 6 soldiers
186-187 - Leon killed 2 Van-Drivers
188-218 - Leon killed 31 soldiers during truck escape
    219 - Leon killed 1 "It"
    220 - Leon killed 1 Krauser
    221 - Mike killed 1 Machine-Gun-Operating-Soldier
222-224 - Mike killed 3 soldiers
    225 - Leon killed 1 Machine-Gun-Carrying-Beefy-Soldier
    226 - Leon killed 1 Shielded-Soldier
227-229 - Leon killed 3 Machine-Gun-Operating-Soldiers
    230 - Leon killed 1 Machine-Gun-Carrying-Beefy-Soldier
231-239 - Leon killed 9 soldiers
    240 - Leon killed 1 Big-Bad-Boss!

In a normal game I would usually kill around 1050 enemies, so 240 was acceptable, though much higher than I would have liked. In the village area cabin, Luis alone killed 40 innocent victims while I ran back and forth, trying to avoid them at all costs.

In the end, Leon was only responsible for 175 deaths! Luis killed 40, Ashley killed 1 and Mike (helicopter pilot) killed 4. 12 were killed by their fellow Plagas and 8 were suicidal fools.

Maybe less could be hurt, but not right now. I like this game, but I have caned it. Next, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker!