Assuming I were to write one of these columns every week from now until the end of my life, I would have to live until the age of approximately 210 years before I reached number 10'000. Hence the new four-digit numbering system. 'Cos it'll only take another nineteen odd years to reach number 1000...

Jenny has written a new column. Read it at www.megasad.co.uk/jenny and love her.

Way back when I ranted about doing whatever you wanted to... fudge the consequences, you only live once, blah blah blah... Surprisingly enough, I'm not living up to those words of wisdom. 'Cos they were based on the premise that you haven't got anything to lose by doing whatever... except now I do. Both inaction and action can lead to fudged up consequences, so I might as well close my eyes to it completely.

Finally got round to ripping those Hicks CDs. In the middle of Dangerous right now. And Cass; I promise I'll send the tape tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Whole load of crazy shit going on tomorrow. By which I mean stuff going on, period. There are actual things I've got to do!

So I know the purpose of the comic library; to catalogue my comics. The purpose of the freaks site? For posterity. My caleb site? To play with site design. The animal site? To catalogue every animal ever made and play with design as well.
    So I'm analysing the purpose of things...
    What's the purpose of this column (and yes, it's a column now, to fit in with the program)? It started back in December 1999... as a response to what I assumed would be a regular feature from Rees; a weekly email about... entertaining things, as far as I could gather. So that's how it started; me trying to write some fiction, say amusing things etc... Then it became my place for ranting about subjects. Which led to some damn fine writing, especially during the summer of 2000. And then it degenerated into little more than a public diary (which it should never have become; I've got a real online diary for that now ^_^). And for the last ten or so I've been floundering. Some commentary, mostly to do with stuff at school. (Ooh, remember the white text? That was cool.)

Wanker! You goddamned wanker! What the fuck did you think you were...? Wanker!!!

Back to the previous... Yes. What purpose does this beast serve? All those people who used to do columns (as it were). Rees, Drinkwater, Tim, Cass... they've all stopped. And there's something to be said for things having a definite end; a body of work can only really be judged once it has been completed. Even better after the author has died; you can see how their life affected what they wrote. So serial publication is a bad thing... unless you don't treat is as such. Unless you treat each individual piece as an end unto itself. Get in, entertain, say what you want to say, get out. No dawdling behind, no hanging around once you've done the job. Short, sweet and to the point.

Feck. I've got an assembly to do this Friday. And this time it WILL happen. 'Cos it's just a little class affair, rather than a whole year-group thing... Still, it'd be nice to have something to talk about. I might just take some of the stuff I've written above and modify it. Or speak about never getting to do that great and wonderful assembly I really did have planned all those months ago... that one I've now forgotten.

The baguette story and the Yorrick story will soon have a website of their very own. Written by Cass and (to a far lesser extent) myself, these... uh... interesting works of fiction are... well, fuck. See for yourself when I get round to making the site. This summer or thereabouts. So in the middle of my A Level exams. Gareth, your pre-editing of them might be called upon...

And hey, Gareth, I don't hate you, right? I've said I did a few times in the past... so I understand how you might have got that impression... but on all those occasions it wasn't a case of me hating you; it was a case of me hating various aspects about myself which you had brought into focus. A case of shooting the messenger as it were. And in this case a messenger who didn't even know he'd been given the job... So I don't like you stunningly either. But that's more a case of hardly having spoken to you for ages. You abandoned us for the ickle Year 10 girls, man! What do you expect? Me to make an effort? Oh, shit...

Damn I'm subtle. Like a half-brick through the forehead. And, hey, Gareth? Remember; don't shoot the messenger. 'Cos that will make sense to you. Oh yes. Not cryptic bullshit at all...

Freed up over 1.1GB of space on my computer by deleting various crap. Sweet.

On Monday my hair will be long. On Tuesday my hair will be short. Go figure.