Sorry.

For being extremely rude on Saturday.

It was like I was an observer. I could see myself being a wanker but I couldn't do anything to stop it. I knew what I wanted to say; how I wanted to behave. But I couldn't. I hid behind various personas and, I imagine, left you with an extreme sense of ungratefulness. And even if I didn't, I feel that I did.

So sorry for that.

And thank you.

So only a few of you will know what I'm gibbering about. Onwards.

I have received no feedback (via e-mail) in regards to the Simon and the Museum debacle. Better left forgotten. This week you will find my latest master-piece attached. I like it. My favourite part is the top right hand section. Let me know what you think.

And me scanned will happen as soon as I get round to it.

When I walk home from the bus stop after school I feel like I'm walking down into hell. Walking down a hill probably helps that feeling. But it's more the fact that I'm going home. My dad's a bully, my mum's depressed, my sisters are ungrateful heathen and my brother cries. A lot. I hate the lot of them and don't even pity the few that I used to. I hate the fact that I'm related to, and have to share my life with, these people. The sooner I leave the better. I wish I hadn't restarted Year 12. If I hadn't I'd be gone by this October. Never to return. As it is, I've got to wait until 2001. After that I'll never have to see, or even think of, them ever again. Happy daze.

I asked the Drinkwater why he wrote his weekly e-mail. His reason? Because he wanted to. A reason I myself have given in the past. Now for a more detailed answer. I write this weekly e-mail as a release. I get down on screen (most of) the things which have been preying on my mind throughout the week. I let you guys know some of what I think so that you may better understand why I do the things that I do. And so I gain greater understanding of myself. I do it to manipulate how you think of me. I say certain things to make you think in certain ways. But I interweave these with the truth, so you don't know what's real and what's not. I write to try and deal with what I think. And I write to provoke responses from you all. So as I have something to write about.

Apparently I am aloof.

I have found a Creative Writing course at Luton University. Three years of making up stories and getting a degree for my troubles. Sounds rather gnarly. I shall be finding out more, soon.

I have taken to modifying song titles in order to make up e-mail titles. Or so it would appear. More of a coincidence really. Sneezing at the Sun was made up before I even heard Staring at the Sun by the Offspring. And this week's My Descent Into Hell was wrapped around Eel's My Descent Into Madness only after I had already thought of Descent Into Hell. And they're all relevant. So nur.

I currently have 727MB of MP3s (music) on my computer. I very badly need another hard drive. Should I get an A or B for my Media Studies AS Level, all shall be well. Should I not, then I shall have to delete some of my massive PSP files.

Wow.

Had a fudged up dream. It was scary.

"All paedophiles should be destroyed, eradicated, killed. 'Cos they're scum."

Something I just heard on the radio (Talksport). Your opinions?

I've been listening to Radio 4 since Saturday. I like the voices. Talksport is preferable in the late evening / early morning. But Radio 4 has very nice voices. So them for day time / early evening.

There is now a teapot on the Main Page of The Freaks Webshite. Go and see.

Also, if you want to make your own page (on The Freaks Webshite), and I haven't got round to it yet, simply follow the instructions below.

~

(i) Go to your page (if you have one already).

(ii) Go to View, Source. This will open the page in Notepad.

(iii) Make sure that Word Wrap (under the Edit menu) is not checked.

(iv) Press F3. Type xxx into the Find What: box. Press ENTER. Press ESC. Fill in the appropriate details. The heading for each xxx is just above it. These are your Personal details. Once you've completed a section, press F3 again to move onto the next one.

(v) When you get the message Cannot find "xxx" press ENTER. Then go to Search, Find.... Type aaa and repeat the process for all your Favourites. Then bbb for Most hateds. ccc for Family. And ddd for Internet.

(vi) Once you've completed your page go to File, Save As.... Save the file as yourname.htm somewhere you can find it. Then send it to me as an attachment in an e-mail and I'll upload the thing.

~

If you already knew how to use Notepad, then sorry for the condescending tone. Simply done so that those who do not, can. So I'll leave it for the next week or so for you to get round to that. If you don't I shall simply use your old megaforms.

I remember I had more that I wanted to say, but I can't remember what it was. Ah well.

Later,
Caleb