'I'M NOT TRYING TO WRITE ANYTHING GOOD...'

A sporadic column by Jenny Leung

Episode 1: Introduction






  My dear friend Caleb has kindly agreed to give me some of his web space to express some of my views and foolish ranting.  I must say that I'm tired of people writing (or attempting to write) semi-coherent, intelligent and witty columns and/or articles on the Internet.  I personally believe that it's time for someone (such as myself) to write completely banal and pointless gibbering.  The point?  Well, mainly to satisfy my own narcissistic wish to become famous.  Naturally, anyone with anything that is on the Internet will instantly become famous.  At least, that is my theory.  This column will help to prove whether it works or not.
     Hence, I now urge everyone currently reading this to pass on the URL to friends, family, acquaintances, local entrepreneurs etc. - singing praises of my wonderful column.  Why should you do this for me?  Well, if you would willingly, and without benefits gained pass on endless, pathetic and stupid forwards, why not pass on one little URL?
     I shall be using this column to express my personal views about matters that usually concern me.  If I accidentally venture on to grounds that do not directly or inadvertently concern me, please feel free to complain to me about it.  And I shall avoid such incidents in the future.  Which were probably unintentional in the first place.
     Now, on to a very important matter: Me.
     Incidentally, if you already regard this column as abysmal and ridiculous, I assure you, I could be much worse.  When I was in college about two years ago, studying for my A-Levels, I used to write articles for the Sixth Form newsletter.  I wrote under a nom de plume, mainly discussing issues that are of a concern to me.  This was the first article that I ever wrote:



*      *      *


OBSESSION

By "Kevin Jones"


          It happens every year - every year that there is a new intake of sixth formers, there is always a new infatuation with a certain boy or boys in the sixth form.  And let's face it, the girls in the lower school do tend to be more interested in the boys in the sixth form than anything else.  And I bet that most of the lower school pupils reading this are probably only reading this because it has been written by a 'boy'.
          Often the boys are blamed for creating such obsessive behaviour, yet rarely do people realise that the boys themselves may not intentionally be trying to create such ludicrous demeanour.
          However, I must also stress upon the fact that some of the boys do enjoy the attention, which in a way, infuriates me because it actually feeds those certain boys' egos, rather than contributing to stop this caprice.
          What many lower school pupils may also not notice is that, like the rest of the sixth form, the boys have come here for an education - in order to obtain qualifications, and being continually harassed by juveniles will almost certainly, encumber rather than help.
          I have also often heard many lower school pupils disdaining certain boys in the sixth form, for no readily apparent reason, this either show their extreme immaturity and futility, or it shows that they basically have nothing better to do with their time.
          Perhaps I am over-generalising lower school pupils here, but the evidence is not really in favour of them, especially when the issue of 'stalking' certain boys are bought up.
          Has is also not occurred to anyone that by being so obsessed with certain males indicate a decline in certain feminist values which women have, in the past, fought so hard to achieve - especially equality with men.  Surely this kind of behaviour even trivialises women's position in life, by suggesting that women are not as "worthy" and that the "worshipping" of males is perfectly acceptable?!!
          To a modern woman, this very concept is as preposterous as it sounds, and what is even more ridiculous is that it is happening on the very grounds of a school founded by a woman who established it in order to help advocate the rights of women in society and to improve women's lives.  So, surely this point should have stopped such farcical actions in the first place?


*      *      *



See how bad that was?
Hey, I had only just turned 16 then... give me some credit!  At least I tried...
Now, on to what will become a regular on my columns:


Quote(s) of my moment:

"What these teen mags do is normalise excessive materialism and grinding conformism in an age of anxious narcissism."
(David Aaronovitch, Wednesday Review, The Independent)

"I've only been on the hormones for 18 months and me nipples are like bullets!"
(Babs, of Babs' Cabs, Royston Vasey, 'The League of Gentlemen')


As you can see, this week I've been reading newspapers and watching TV.

Finally, I would like to say a big Hey-Ho to my friends Cindy and Rebecca who will soon be embarking on a journey around Europe.  Hope you have fun!

Tune in soon for yet another exciting installment in the life of Jenny Leung.